is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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