This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Text me some of your sweat
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