So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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