Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
