I must be too annoying 4 u.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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