I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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