this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
