I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
