Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
