im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
