im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
