Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
