There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
