Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
