I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
