You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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