I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
