remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
