Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
