he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's shark week go big or go home
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
