we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
