And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
