3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
