a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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