I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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