dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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