i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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