I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
