this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
