This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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