so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
