VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You smell like stripper and shame
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
