Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We got so high we made milksteak
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just invented taco cereal.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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