In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize