Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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