So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
