I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
