You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
