I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
