There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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