I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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