I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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