think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
