Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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