You're completely useless in the revolution.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize