she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She told me I should be a condom model.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
