Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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