Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize