Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
