the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
