so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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