you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
