When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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