if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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