I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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