dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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