Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
