I'm going to jail i love you
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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