either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
