In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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