I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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