I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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