I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
